This questionnaire should be filled out by a Sub and provided to their Dom/Top before playing with them. This will provide a quick "head-start" to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play.
For each item, you need to provide two answers:
First write YES or NO next to each item to indicate if you have ever DONE that activity.
Mark N/A if it does not apply to your gender.
Next, indicate for each item how you FEEL about that activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0 to 5.
NO means you will NOT do that item under any circumstances (a hard limit).
0 (zero) indicates you have utterly no desire to do that activity and don't like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and would ordinarily object to doing it, but you would be willing to do it to please the Dominant if it they really wanted it. (sometimes called a "soft limit").
1 means you don't want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldn't object if it was asked of you.
2 means you are willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you.
3 means you usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular/ occasional basis.
4 means you like doing this activity, and would like to experience it on a regular basis.
5 means the activity is a wild turn-on for you, and you would like it as often as possible.
Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with you current sex partner(s), but not with casual play-partners.
Note any additional information which might be important for your Dom to know.
There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the Sub is the recipient of the activity.
Experience yes/no, Willingness, NO or 0-5
Submissive Checklist |
||
Activity | Y/N NO or 0-5 | Regular Partner Only? |
---|---|---|
Abrasion | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Age play | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Anal sex | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Anal plugs (small) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Anal plugs (large) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Anal plug (public, under clothes) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Animal roles | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Asphyxiation | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Auctioned for charity | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Bathroom use control | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Bestiality | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Beating (soft) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Beating (hard) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Blindfolds | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Being serviced (sexual) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Being bitten | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Breast/chest bondage | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Breath control | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Branding | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Boot worship | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Bondage (light) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Bondage (heavy) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Bondage (multi-day) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Bondage (public, under clothing) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Breast whipping | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Brown showers (scat) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Cages (locked inside of) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Caning | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Catheterization | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Cells/Closets (locked inside of) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Chastity belts | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Chauffeuring | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Clothespins | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Cock worship | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Collars (worn in private) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Collars (worn in public) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Competitions (with other Subs) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Corsets (wearing) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Cuffs (leather) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Cuffs (metal) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Cutting | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Dilation | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Double penetration | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Electricity | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Enemas | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Enforced chastity | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Examinations (physical) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Exercise (forced/required) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Exhibitionism (friends) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Exhibitionism (strangers) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Eye contact restrictions | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Face slapping | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Fantasy abandonment | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Fantasy rape | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Fantasy gang-rape | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Fisting (anal) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Fisting (vaginal) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Following orders | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Foot worship | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Forced Crossdressing | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Forced homosexuality | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Forced masturbation | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Forced nudity (private) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Forced nudity (around others) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Forced servitude | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Full head hoods | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Gags (cloth) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Gags (rubber) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Gags (tape) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Gates of Hell (male) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Genital sex | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Given away to another Dom (temp) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Given away to another Dom (perm) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Golden showers | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Hairbrush spankings | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Hair pulling | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Hand jobs (giving) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Hand jobs (receiving) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Harems (serving w/other subs) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Harnessing (leather) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Harnessing (rope) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Having food chosen for you | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Having clothing chosen for you | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Head (giving fellatio) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Head (receiving fellatio) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
High heel worship | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Homage with tongue (non-sexual) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Hot oils (on genitals) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Hot waxing | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Housework (doing) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Human puppy dog | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Humiliation (private) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Humiliation (public) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Hypnotism | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Ice cubes | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Infantilism | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Initiation rites | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Injections | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Interrogations | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Kidnapping | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Kneeling | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Leather clothing | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Leather restraints | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Lectures for misbehavior | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Licking (non-sexual) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Manacles & Irons | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Manicures (giving) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Massage (giving) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Massage (receiving) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Medical scenes | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Modeling for erotic photos | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Mouth bits | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Mummification | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Nipple clamps | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Nipple weights | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Oral/anal play (rimming) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Over-the-knee spanking | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Orgasm denial | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Orgasm control | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Outdoor scenes | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Outdoor sex | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Phone sex (serving Dom) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Phone sex (serving Dom's friends) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Piercing (permanent) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Prison scenes | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Pony slave | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Public exposure | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Pussy/cock whipping | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Pussy worship | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Riding crops | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Riding the "horse" (crotch tort.) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Rituals | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Religious scenes | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Restrictive rules on behavior | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Rubber/latex clothing | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Rope body harness | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Saran wrapping | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Scratching - getting | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Scratching - giving | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Sensory deprivation | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Serving | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Serving as art | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Serving as ashtray | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Serving as furniture | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Serving as a maid | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Serving as toilet | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Serving as waitress/waiter | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Serving orally (sexual) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Serving other doms (supervised) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Serving other doms (unsupervised) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Sexual deprivation (short term) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Sexual deprivation (long term) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Shaving (body hair) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Shaving (head hair) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Sleep deprivation | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Sleepsacks | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Slutty clothing (private) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Slutty clothing (public) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Spanking | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Spandex clothing | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Speech restrictions (when, what) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Speculums (Anal) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Speculums (vaginal) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Spreader bars | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Standing in corner | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Stocks | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Straight jackets | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Strap-on-dildos (wearing) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Strapping (full body beating) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Suspension (upright) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Suspension (inverted) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Suspension (horizontal) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Supplying new partners for Dom | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Swallowing semen | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Swallowing urine | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Swapping (with one other couple) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Swinging (multiple couples) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Tattooing | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Teasing | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Tickling | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Triple penetration | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Uniforms | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Including others | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Vaginal dildo | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Verbal humiliation | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Vibrator on genitals | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Voyeurism (watching others) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Video (watching others) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Video (recordings of you) | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Water torture | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Wearing symbolic jewelry | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Whipping | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Wooden paddles | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
Wrestling | Yes/No NO 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
Yes/No/Will Discuss |
This list is from the BDSM Resource Page. There are other lists, one in Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns is the one Domina likes. But a list is not a bad place to start your negotiation from.
Negotiation is working out a preplay or a contractual agreement. Here, we're concerned with preplay negotiations. The point of negotiations is to ensure that both the dominant and the submissive enjoy the scene. Contrary to public belief, having the submissive enjoy the scene IS part of the fun.
The list printed above is a good place to start negotiations. It gives you a point to begin discussions of the activities you have in common. A submissive should never be in subspace or submissive headspace during negotiations. He/she should ALWAYS negotiate as an equal. Any dominant who insists on dominating a negotiation conversation should be viewed with suspicion. A submissive has the right to set his/her own limits. A dominant may push those limits, once they are set, and may attempt to convince a submissive to try something that they are not adamantly opposed to, but they should NOT try to force a submissive into any act that the submissive finds totally repugnant. And they should never attempt any form of coercive behavior or DOMMING in a negotiation. During negotiation, both parties are equal. If the dominant and submissive expect to have only
one scene, then a short negotiation period should be enough. Most people are not going to do a lot of limit pushing in a one time scene. For a longer relationship, it is important to do a lot of negotiation. Fantasies, fears, and previous experiences all need to be explored. However, this is going to be an ongoing process for a long term relationship. You don't have to do it all in one night.
It is important to know as much about your submissive's limits, health concerns, and experiences as you can prior to playing with him/her. Health concerns are often overlooked when a couple are playing. However, if your dom or sub is epileptic, diabetic, or has heart problems, you NEED to know these things. Emergency room visits should be avoided unless you have a serious medical kink. The dominant needs to share their health concerns, too. Imagine being in bondage, and having your dominant keel over with a heart attack. I made leather velcro cuffs for a friend for specifically that reason. He had a heart attack. If anything happens in future, his sub has a chance to get out of the bondage and get help. Inescapable bondage is fun, but remember the risks.
Dominants need to share THEIR kinks with the submissive, too. If a dominant NEEDS to hurt someone (sadist) and the submissive in question is NOT a masochist and can't deal with pain play at all, then the likelihood of establishing a lasting relationship just became more remote. If the submissive is strongly into blood sports, and the dominant is squicked by needles, that doesn't bode well for the relationship, either. Remember, at negotiation, you are both equal. After the negotiation, the play is similar to the submissive choosing the restaurant, and the dominant making the menu choices.