Domina's Etiquette Tips


When you enter on line chat rooms, don't kneel, lower your eyes, or greet ONLY the femme dommes in the rooms. (Yes, guysubs, I'm talking to YOU) The only people you impress are those who have been on line dominants for less than an hour or the chudwah femme dommes who got their idea of D/s from internet fantasy fodder. Real life dommes are much more impressed to find out that you have a brain, can hold a polite conversation, and have a few manners. The other half of this is "Don't kiss my butt unless I TELL you to kiss it." Not everyone wants their hinder parts puckered on. Think about it. There are probably 10 guysubs for every female domme. Sucking up is easy, making yourself interesting is a challenge.

Don't offer to submit to the first domme who speaks to you. Even if you are the kind of person who meets someone in a bar and wakes up married the next day, try to demonstrate a tad more discretion in choosing someone who will expect actual obedience from you, and may want to hurt you for fun. Even a cyber relationship needs some mutual ground for understanding. If you expect it to shift into real time, for heaven's sake, try to find someone who has more to offer you than just D/s.  D/s is fun, D/s is good, but D/s is also not all there is in life. Remember, this is not an interactive sex program. There are real people on the other side of that screen. Think about whether you would like this person if you had to actually be WITH them.

Also, don't submit, even in cyber unless you actually mean it. Just sending email and doing hot chat does not make you a sub. Submission is just that. Submission to the will of another. A lot of cyber relationships are just as important as real life to the people involved and they take them just as seriously. If this is just a cyber game to you, be sure your partner feels the same way.

By the way, as a prodomme, I see a lot of clients who have no real time experience.  Should you decide to see a prodomme or play in real life with a dominant, please realize that there is some difference between fantasy and reality.  I once had a submissive tell me he had years of experience and was a heavy masochist.  We found out when he was amazed that a flogger could hurt that he had years of experience ON LINE.  This is a tad different than real life, and for those who have fantasies, yes, canes and floggers really hurt in real life.  Endorphins are caused by putting your body under stress and pain is a stress.  It can be erotic, but it STILL HURTS.



Entering an on line chat room and announcing "On your knees!" is a dead giveaway that you are an amateur. You might impress the dazed and the desperate, but real time dominants and submissives will laugh at you. Establishing a presence as an intelligent, dominant person will go far to bring you to the attention of the intelligent, PICKY subs as a dom(me) worth having. Real power shows itself in politeness and good manners.

Don't lead subs on to submit to you if you are just sub collecting for the heck of it, or if you have no intention of actually taking care of this person's well being. Domming someone is a lot more than dressing in black and beating the snot out of someone. You are responsible to NOT HURT this person in any non-consensual or actually damaging way. Even cyber only relationships require a lot of thought, caring, and know how. Don't think that sending a woman to work without a bra or making a guy wear panties under his suit is all you have to do to be a cyber dom(me). Remember, these are real people on the other side of the screen; not toys, computer simulations or graphics. Taking power includes taking responsibility. This means being there when something goes wrong. And something will eventually go wrong.

I you are treating this like a game, be VERY sure your playmate KNOWS it's a game. A lot of people take cyber VERY seriously.


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