Gender Based English
A MAN'S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH:
* We need = I want
* "I'm hungry" = I'm hungry
|* "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
* "You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you
* "What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this
* "What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
* "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
* "I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?
* "I love you" = Let's have sex now
* "I love you, too" = Okay, I said it...NOW we'd better have sex!
* "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = I liked it better before
* "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = $50 and it doesn't look much different
* "Let's talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a sensitive person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
* "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
* "I like that one better" (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!