Domina's D/s Humor Page

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The Not-So-Submissive Submissive's Handbook

Our "Handbook" has taken on a new name. After receiving the Revised Second Edition of The New and Improved Submissive's Handbook, we were advised (by a domly one....who else?) that the handbook could not be "new" if it was "improved" and that if it was the first printing of the second edition, then it hadn't been revised. Sheesh....don't ya just love em....can't find anything wrong with the rules so they have to pick on the technicalities of the title!!! Okay....soooooooo...the title of this newest handbook is......ta da......"The Not So Submissive Submissive's Handbook." Let's see what the domly ones have to say about that title!!!!
 

Speaking of what the domly ones had to say, here is just a sampling of THEIR comments regarding the first two editions. "You two have GOT to be kidding!!!!" (hmmmm.....are we? ) "I think every Dom alive lives in fear that you subs will organize and this seems to be the first step. Perhaps we should negotiate." "tsk tsk tsk,.,,,,what are we to do with u...I will have to think about it after I finish smirking..hehe" (hmmmm.....i could think of a few things he could do with me ) "I can see someone has been spending much time in fantasy land and lost sight of reality...LOL" Below you will find the original rules as published in the first two editions of "The Handbook," along with many new rules as suggested by those of you who wrote to us. You all had some terrific ideas....thanks!!!!

Due to the fact that I start school on Tuesday, this will be the last publishing of this informative and useful handbook.....at least until winter break, anyway. Besides, it'll give the domly ones a chance to implement these rules...which will also allow you an opportunity to write in with any advice or suggestions you might have for the next edition. We hope you enjoy this in the humor in which it was meant. For those of you lacking said sense of humor....!!!!!

The Not So Submissive Submissive's Handbook Co-Authored by: Sucre11981 and Jillian (two adorable SAMs) Copyright 1998

Rule #1: The submissive (hereinafter referred to as "the subbie") is ALWAYS right...whatever she/he says is gospel!!!!

Rule #2: A subbie never makes mistakes.

Rule #3: If it is ever determined that the subbie is wrong, or that she/he has made a mistake, (which is impossible), it shall be deemed that the fault lies entirely with the Dom/Domme/Master/Mistress (hereinafter referred to as "the domly one"). It is clear that if this situation should occur, the domly one failed to issue clear and concise instructions....and shall take full responsibility for the results of His/Her actions, or lack thereof.

Rule #4: If in doubt, refer to Rule #1. (Rules Numbered 3 and 4 are included because it may initially be difficult for the domly ones to accept Rules #1 and 2.)

Rule #5: For every spanking received by the subbie from the domly one, the subbie shall be allowed to give two to the domly one. This includes all spankings given by others at the direction of the domly one.

Rule #6: The domly one will be responsible for the cleaning and proper care of all toys. It is also noted that the domly one will use said toys at not only His/Her discretion, but also at the discretion of the subbie.

Rule #7: The domly one is to clean the house, do the laundry, do all yardwork, take out the garbage, do all ironing, and wait on the subbie....taking care of all of her/his needs, no matter how large or small the needs.

 

Rule #8: The domly one shall take the subbie to a very nice restaurant (four star or better) at least once a week....at His/Her expense....and not gripe about doing so. All other meals will be cooked at home by the domly one....unless He/She chooses to take the subbie out to eat more frequently.

Rule #9: The domly one shall take the subbie to a five star hotel (as registered guests) at least once a month. While staying in said hotel, room service is encouraged.

Rule #10: The domly one shall graciously welcome all of the subbie's friends into His/Her home....making said guests feel completely welcome....no matter how long the duration of their visit.

Rule #11: In the unfortunate event that the domly one becomes ill, He/She shall immediately relinquish the dominant position to the subbie. The domly one shall allow the subbie to take His/Her temperature and administer any and all medications without a fuss. It is highly recommended that the domly one NOT act like a PITA during this time as the dominant role is unfamiliar to the subbie and therefore she/he shall not be held responsible for any actions taken while under such duress.

Rule #12: In the unlikely event that the subbie should ever require punishment (although being the angels that we are we can't imagine this ever being necessary...), the domly one shall administer said punishment within an agreed upon amount of time. IF said punishment cannot be administered within the allotted time period, it shall be deemed that the domly one decided not to deliver said punishment.

Rule #13: It shall be required that ALL domly ones possess a good sense of humor and a sense of the ridiculous. They must be able to become silly at a moment's notice. Grumpiness on the part of the domly one will not be tolerated.

Rule #14: The domly one shall show respect for His/Her submissive at all times...always ensuring that she/he feels loved and that she/he is a special and important person in the domly one's life. In return, the subbie shall make the domly one feel special, cared for, loved and the most important person in her/his life.

Rule #15: All collars given to the subbie shall contain a minimum of 6 carats worth of diamonds.

Rule #16: The domly one shall furnish a NEW car for the subbie....new meaning the current year's model....not a heap from the junkyard she/he hasn't seen before.

Rule #17: The domly one shall take the subbie on a vacation each year. This vacation should be a minimum of one weekend but may be longer. Suggested locations for said vacation include the Caribbean, the South of France, or any comparable location.

Rule #18: It is recommended that the domly one express his feelings and or concerns, however; whining and pouting are not acceptable domly behavior. Whining and pouting are reserved exclusively for the subbie. Said whining and pouting shall be expressed at the discretion of the subbie.

Rule #19: Under no circumstances shall the domly one throw temper tantrums.

Rule #20: If it is deemed that the domly one is lost while driving, He/She must immediately stop and ask directions. It shall be determined that the domly one is lost IF the same street sign or landmark has been passed three times on one outing.

Rule #21: For every subbie that the domly one has, the subbie (if she/he so desires) may have twice as many domly ones.

We would again like to thank everyone who sent in comments and/or suggestions for this newest edition of the handbook. All comments by the domly ones have been reprinted with their permission....(sheesh, we're in enough trouble....ya think we wanna get in more for plagiarism?) If you have any comments or suggestions regarding this publication, or for another edition, please forward them to either of the authors.

Sucre11981 and Jillian

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