Domina's D/s Humor Page

The Dominant's Handbook

as written by:
The Not So Submissive Submissives
aka OneDumbSub, Sucre11981 and her friends
Copyright 1999 (used by permission)

Rule #1
The Dominant is ALWAYS right...whatever He/She says is gospel.
(Hmmmm....seems to be some contradiction here between the Domly Ones' Rule  #1   and Rule #1 as stated in The Not So Submissive Submissive's Handbook. Maybe   we ought to just let the Domly Ones "think" they are always right....I mean,  have you EVER seen a Domly One pout? Not a pretty sight!!!!)

Rule #2
If there is ever any doubt as to who is in charge, or who is right, refer  back to Rule #1.

Rule #3
The submissive/slave shall show respect for her/his Dominant at all  times...always ensuring that He/She feels loved and that He/She is a special  and important person in the submissive's/slave's life. In return, the  Dominant shall make the submissive/slave feel special, cared for, loved and  the most important person in the Dominant's life.

Rule #4
Any submissive/slave following the rules in The Not So Submissive  Submissive's Handbook (otherwise referred to by the Dominants as "that  publication written by two SAMS with too much time on their hands") shall be severely punished, providing the psychiatric tests come back showing that  the  submissive/slave is mentally stable. If the results prove her/him to be  temporarily insane (why else would a submissive/slave even think of  following  such rubbish?), the Dominant will excuse the submissive/slave on grounds of  temporary insanity and no punishment will be given.

Rule #5
Never tell a joke or piss off your submissive/slave when she has your winkie  in her mouth:). (Hey folks, sorry...not my words. This one was submitted  <yep...I said submitted> by a Dominant.)

Rule #6
When the Dominant feels that the submissive/slave is about to cross a fine  line, it is the Dominant's responsibility to make that line more easily seen  (i.e. darker, wider, etc.), thereby possibly preventing the submissive/slave from crossing over the line. (One very dear Domme just pointed out that said  line should be across the submissive's/slave's arse.)

Rule #7
The Dominant shall at no time injure/harm the submissive/slave. There is a   difference between inflicting pain and being abusive. At no time shall a   Dominant be abusive, either physically or emotionally.

Rule #8
The submissive/slave shall never take the Dominant's collar that He/She  placed on the submissive's/slave's neck and use it for the dog.

Rule #9
The Dominant's toys are never to be sold at a garage sale, no matter how  much   the submissive/slave hates them.

Rule #10
The submissive/slave shall never refer to the Dominant as "Hey Stupid" or   "B*tch" (unless it's Ms B*tch).

Rule #11
The submissive/slave shall never use the chaining station as a clothesline  for her/his stockings.

Rule #12
When playing with your new Dominant, the submissive/slave should never tell  the Dominant that her/his former Dominant was much better with a flogger.  The   consequences for such action may cause irrefutable harm, such as the   submissive/slave sitting on the sidewalk/curb looking for a new Dominant.

Rule #13
The submissive/slave is never to tell the Dominant that He/She hits like a  little girl...even if it's true.
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