Dom Rejection Letter

Dear [____rejectee' s name here_____], Sir:
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further
contention as my perfect Master. As You are probably aware, the
competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified
candidates such as Yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will,
however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So
that You may find better success in Your future sub/slave endeavors,
please allow me to graciously offer the following reason(s) You were
disqualified from the competition:

[Check all those that apply]

___ Your breasts are bigger than mine.

___ Your nickname is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it,
hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

___ The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at
McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.

___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload"
indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my

___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked You 20 questions
about Yourself before You asked me one.

___ Your legs are skinnier than mine. If You can FIT into my pants,
then you can't GET into my pants or me out of them.

___ Your "Putting on a few, aren't you girl?" comment, given the
9-months pregnant size of Your beer gut, was inappropriate.

___ You failed the credit check.

___ I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

___ The fact that Your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent
slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

___ The phrase "My last slave" has popped up far too often in

___ You still live with your parents.

___ You mention your ex-slave's name more than you mention mine.

___ Three words: Size does matter.


[Your name here]